Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Where do I go from here?

What do you do when you feel like God is calling you to something, but you don't know where to start? What do you do when you feel that tug on your heartstrings to go, to do, to move, but no resources to work with? How do you talk to your husband about a dream that would spin your life in a completely different direction when all you have is a rough picture of what that dream may be? What do you do when you have an 8 month-old, and own a business, and life is just starting to settle down for the first time in years?

What if God calls? What if God says "do something crazy"? What if God says "walk on water", but you can't figure out how to get out of the boat?

At our women's gathering this past week and family camp, the lady who was speaking asked this question: "If I gave you 10 million dollars and you had to spend it on God's dream for you, what would you do with it?"

I've never sat down and tried to define God's dream for me. I've never tried to pinpoint exactly what I thought HE wanted me to do with my life. I've always just had this vague idea of what it might be. Really, just assuming that when the time came, a door would open, and I would walk through it. Like my purpose would just fall into my lap one day the path would be clear. Maybe it happens that way sometimes, but sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you have to move first. I've always wanted to be a part of a lot of different things; which is maybe why I've never really been a part of anything. But, what if, all the doors were open, and I had to walk though one. 

Which one would it be?

So I sat down; I made a list. Of my strengths, of my weaknesses, or the things that tear at my heart, of what I want. And I've got this little idea. A tiny inkling of a thing that might one day be huge. A thing that might one day be insane. And I don't know what to do with it.

Where do I start?