A posture of love

I don't want to write this. I really don't. In fact, I've been avoiding this conversation altogether for quite some time. Because I don't want to fight about it. I don't want to get sucked into the political uproar. But it's been weighing heavy on me, and this is how I process. So, if you're here to pick fights, if you're here to tear down, if you're here to with anger, or with hate - this is not the place. Go home. I do not have the energy. 
God is stirring something in me. For about the last 6 months. I don't know what it is going to look like yet. I don't know what part I am going to play,or how I am going to make it work. I am still searching for resources to establish a starting point.
I want to help and minister to the refugees coming into this country from Syria. That is where I'm starting anyway. Eventually, I want to find a way to go in to war torn countries and offer love and hope in the midst of the circumstances, for those in the trenches, not just the ones on the other side. But I have a one-year-old at home, so I sense I am a long way from that. 
As I have looked into how to get started, even with just a very little, here in Austin - I have been stunned by the amount of fear and hate surrounding this topic and these people that I have seen, read, or heard. By a staggering number of Christians.

These people are searching for a new life. they are searching for a new place to call home. A place that is safe. A place that is secure. A place that is renewing. A place where there is hope. A place where there is love.
A place where their children will grow up protected. 
Have we not looked for these things? Have we not been offered all of them in Christ?
Christ does not deny any entrance into His Kingdom. Why should we? Because we were born here, we deserve it more?
Where would we be if Jesus hadn't offered a home and a hope to immigrants? That's us, by the way. Most of us anyway. The gentiles. Not God's people. Those on the outside.
You know what He did? He adopted us. He grafted us in.
Where would we be if He had cast us out? Because of our pasts, our ancestors, our up bringing?
What if when we had come knocking, He locked his door, and shut us out?
People are not defined by their sins, and they are most assuredly not defined by the sins of others.
How can we condemn by association?
God wouldn't.
You know how I know? 

So the men turned from there and went toward Sodom, but Abraham still stood before the Lord. Then Abraham drew near and said, “Will you indeed sweep away the righteous with the wicked? Suppose there are fifty righteous within the city. Will you then sweep away the place and not spare it for the fifty righteous who are in it?  Far be it from you to do such a thing, to put the righteous to death with the wicked, so that the righteous fare as the wicked! Far be that from you! Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?”26 And the Lord said, “If I find at Sodom fifty righteous in the city, I will spare the whole place for their sake.” Abraham answered and said, “Behold, I have undertaken to speak to the Lord, I who am but dust and ashes. Suppose five of the fifty righteous are lacking. Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five?” And he said, “I will not destroy it if I find forty-five there.”  Again he spoke to him and said, “Suppose forty are found there.” He answered, “For the sake of forty I will not do it.” Then he said, “Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak. Suppose thirty are found there.” He answered, “I will not do it, if I find thirty there.” He said, “Behold, I have undertaken to speak to the Lord. Suppose twenty are found there.” He answered, “For the sake of twenty I will not destroy it.” Then he said, “Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak again but this once. Suppose ten are found there.” He answered, “For the sake of ten I will not destroy it.” And the Lord went his way, when he had finished speaking to Abraham, and Abraham returned to his place.             

- Genesis 18:22-33

God does not punish the many for the sins of the few. In fact, He does not punish the few for the sins of the many. "For the sake of ten I will not destroy it." 

You may say I'm naive, but I say you are fearful. And Perfect Love casts out all fear. 

My son is awake now, so I finish with this: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
-Galations 3:28

Oh, lord, the teeth.

So, remember how, like, three days ago I was lamenting over this whole 'not pregnant again yet' phase of my life? Well, I whined; God laughed.

This weekend has been one of our roughest. Oliver is simultaneously cutting at least two, and possibly all four (he won't let me near his mouth to look), molars. This kid who I'm always bragging about being an easy teether has been MISERABLE for the past 48 hours. I'm not generally a temperature-taking kind of mom. He's either hot, or hes not, and as long as he's not showing any other signs of illness, I don't really sweat the particulars. But Saturday night he was so hot his hands on my skin were uncomfortable, so I pulled out the thermometer. Nearly 103. It was better Sunday, but not by much. He cried when I dropped him off at church (which has not only never happened before, but usually he is reaching for the teacher and blowing me kisses goodbye before I can even get his name tag on), when Derek went to pick him up just over an hour later, he was walking the halls with a childcare worker because they couldn't get him to calm down. He's nursing ALL the time, and Saturday refused to eat any solid food at all - Sunday was better on that front. HE hasn't slept more than 30 minutes at a time during the past 3 days and has been spending most of the night in our bed attached to my boob. We've been alternating between baby and mama meltdowns and between the nursing and the kicking and the fact that his body is a furnace next to mine, I've barely slept in days. My house is a mess because I have neither the energy nor the motivation to wash dishes and vacuum floors. All I can think is thank GOD I'm not dealing with pregnancy fatigue on top of everything else. So...yeah.

He seems better today. His feet were actually COLD this morning, and he woke up full of smiles and giggles. Which is good because I have about 6 hours of business paperwork to get done today so he's gonna have to deal with spending most of the day in the carrier on my back (I finally found a carrier I can use on my back without pain and it could not have been better timing. It has been our saving grace this weekend). But there are no new teeth in his mouth, so I have the sneaking suspicion we're not done yet.

My beautiful husband got up this morning and made a pot of coffee. Because he's the greatest. I'm on cup three already.

I love being a mom. Some weeks are more challenging than others. But it's totally worth it. Plus, I have a legitimate excuse now for letting the housework slide. ;)

In completely unrelated news - We packed up all the 12 month clothing today. Oliver is 32 inches and 21.5 pounds. 97th percentile in height, 50th in weight (he's gained less than 2 pounds in the past 4 months). Which means hes too tall for 12 month clothing, but 18 month stuff fits him like a tent. Long and lean like his daddy. That definitely doesn't come from my side of the gene pool. =P