A friend and I have been going through a book together called "Created To Be His Help Meet". I read it myself over two years ago when the now hubby and I were just dating and I was living in Albania and he in Texas. I wont say there were not parts of the book that resonated with me the first time through, but I will say that I do not think it had much of an effect on the way I viewed life, marriage, and the kind of wife I was going to be. At the time i read it, it was much too easy to write most of the content of the book as "other people's problems" and let it slide right off my arrogant self. Surely this was not a struggle WE would have. My husband and I loved each other. Our marriage was centered on Christ. These people clearly had deeper issues.
Now, don't get me wrong - I never once prescribed to the lie that Hubs and I would never fight. We shattered that illusion enough times while we were just dating. But I did believe that we would always love enough to be selfless; to put to other's wants, needs, feelings before our own. To let our petty arguments go for the sake of peace and joy in our home. I believed that we would never bite with our words, never purposely strike each other in ways we knew would hurt out of some prideful need to get our point across, or have the last word.
Surely, he would never make me cry, or if he did than the instant he realized how he had hurt me, the subject would be dropped, his point conceded, and his only desire to comfort me.
Surely, I would never be spiteful enough to lash out at him in front of his friends, to belittle him, and disrespect him. Surely, it would be my one and constant desire to build him up and praise him and brag on him to any one and everyone who would listen.
Ignorant child was I. And so, in my ignorance, I read and skimmed and ignored. I took no advise, gained no insight, and missed a chance to change BEFORE things got hard.
Let me just say that I love my husband. He is God's greatest gift to me. Our marriage is not "in trouble." There is not a day that I have EVER regretted my decision to make a life with him. I can not imagine how I could function without him. The past two years have been the best of my life. However, in many ways they have also been the hardest. We are both flawed, fallen human beings and I was a fool to think that, at the age of 19, I could walk into this life-change with nothing to learn.
And, so, about a month ago a friend and I (after a long conversation filled with tears and hurt and joy and finally coming to the conclusion that we are silly children playing at this thing called marriage, with no real idea how to do any of it, but that we want to learn, we want to grow, to be better women, wives, and eventually mothers ) I was reminded of this book and mentioned it to her and within the hour we had purchased two copies from the nearest bookstore.
We are only two chapters in, but I have to say that my experience in the reading this time around has been night and day from the first. I am no longer ignorant to my need to change. I entered this time with a broken will, and a willing heart. It has made all the difference in the world. It is not a light, easy read this time around. There will be no skimming. Already, I have found myself in tearful prayer more times than I can count. How far I am from who I want to be. How very much I have to learn.
I ask that all of you keep me and my friend in your prayers as we walk this journey together; as we seek what the will of God is for us as wives and future moms. Pray that we will be humbled and willing to let God teach and mold us into the help meets He has created us to be.
Now, don't get me wrong - I never once prescribed to the lie that Hubs and I would never fight. We shattered that illusion enough times while we were just dating. But I did believe that we would always love enough to be selfless; to put to other's wants, needs, feelings before our own. To let our petty arguments go for the sake of peace and joy in our home. I believed that we would never bite with our words, never purposely strike each other in ways we knew would hurt out of some prideful need to get our point across, or have the last word.
Surely, he would never make me cry, or if he did than the instant he realized how he had hurt me, the subject would be dropped, his point conceded, and his only desire to comfort me.
Surely, I would never be spiteful enough to lash out at him in front of his friends, to belittle him, and disrespect him. Surely, it would be my one and constant desire to build him up and praise him and brag on him to any one and everyone who would listen.
Ignorant child was I. And so, in my ignorance, I read and skimmed and ignored. I took no advise, gained no insight, and missed a chance to change BEFORE things got hard.
Let me just say that I love my husband. He is God's greatest gift to me. Our marriage is not "in trouble." There is not a day that I have EVER regretted my decision to make a life with him. I can not imagine how I could function without him. The past two years have been the best of my life. However, in many ways they have also been the hardest. We are both flawed, fallen human beings and I was a fool to think that, at the age of 19, I could walk into this life-change with nothing to learn.
And, so, about a month ago a friend and I (after a long conversation filled with tears and hurt and joy and finally coming to the conclusion that we are silly children playing at this thing called marriage, with no real idea how to do any of it, but that we want to learn, we want to grow, to be better women, wives, and eventually mothers ) I was reminded of this book and mentioned it to her and within the hour we had purchased two copies from the nearest bookstore.
We are only two chapters in, but I have to say that my experience in the reading this time around has been night and day from the first. I am no longer ignorant to my need to change. I entered this time with a broken will, and a willing heart. It has made all the difference in the world. It is not a light, easy read this time around. There will be no skimming. Already, I have found myself in tearful prayer more times than I can count. How far I am from who I want to be. How very much I have to learn.
I ask that all of you keep me and my friend in your prayers as we walk this journey together; as we seek what the will of God is for us as wives and future moms. Pray that we will be humbled and willing to let God teach and mold us into the help meets He has created us to be.
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