So a couple weeks ago I wrote about our frustrations with Oliver night sleeping. I hoped that things would get better when we got back home and back into a routine, but they didn't. In fact, for several days after we got back, he wouldn't even nap in his bed, which he's never had a problem with. At night he was up every three hours to sleep. I might have been a little frazzled.
Now, I know the Cry It Out method works. I've used it before with the kids I've nannied. And, in using it, determined that, while it may work, I don't think it's the best way to teach a child to sleep. Or maybe it's just not good for this Mama's sanity. Whatever. I decided a long time ago that I would use it as a last resort only. Getting up and feeding my 6-month old every three hours, every night, is not the worst thing in the world. Having said 6-month-old sleep in my bed and kick me all night because he refuses to go back down in his own bed, is not the worst thing in the world either. I can lose some sleep. It's one of the things I signed up for when I embarked on this whole motherhood journey. If Oliver is hungry, because he's not eating enough solids during the day, and needs that feed every three hours, i will deal with that. That being said - if he DOESN'T need that food, that sustenance, if he is just waking up because he's trained himself to do so, I think that is something that - for both his father and my sanity, as well as not wanting this to be a habit he maintains for a couple years - it is my job, as his mother, to help him learn to sleep better.
We hadn't resorted to CIO for a couple of reasons:
1). Oliver has been teething, and I do not want him to be in pain, and needing comfort and feel like I am not there for him.
2). The addition of solids to his diet is going very slowly, he is not interested for long and he is not actually consuming much of the food that I give him. If he really is hungry that frequently at night, because he is not getting enough during the day, I do not want to refuse him the food that he needs.
3). Derek has been working insane hours and I don't want Oliver's crying to keep him up at night. He needs what sleep he can get.
4). I just can't listen to my baby scream. I honestly don't think I've gotten that desperate.
So, at every noise, every fuss, I've been running to pull my sweet baby out of bed, hush him so he doesn't wake his father, and latch him as quickly as possibly so that he can go straight back to sleep.
Until Friday. Friday night we stayed at my Godparents house. We set up the pack'n'play in the other room so that I could only hear Oliver if he was really all out crying (instead of waking up with every shuffle), and maybe I would get better sleep. We had a late night Friday and Ollie didn't go down till midnight. I woke up a couple of times thinking I heard him, I lay awake straining my ears to listen, but was met with only silence, so I went back to sleep. When I finally woke up for really just after 8am, he was STILL sleeping. I think he would have kept sleeping, but when I went in to check on him he stirred, and since I was painfully full, I woke him up to feed.
There goes my theory that he is really just hungry.
So, Derek and I had a conversation. We decided that I would stop getting up and pulling Oliver out of bed the moment I heard him. I would wait until he was really crying. Like, standing up on the side of the crib, struggling to catch his breath between sobs, crying. I am not ready to let him cry it out, but I do think he is at the point where he needs to be given time to try to learn to sooth himself back to sleep. We are going to try and give him that time. If Derek loses too much sleep, he can go get ear plugs. He has given me permission not to worry about it.
Saturday night I remember Oliver waking up once after we put him down around 10:30. Just before 2 in the morning. he fussed for a while. I got out of bed once to give him he pacifier. He was still laying down, eyes closed, under his quilt. Just fussing. So I let him be. I went back to bed and listened to him. Every time he would start to really fuss and I'd think I should go get him, he'd get quiet again. It felt like forever before he went back to sleep - it was probably ten minutes - but he went back to sleep. By himself. I heard him move around a couple other times during the night, but never cry. I had to wake him up at 7:30 so that I could feed him and then get us all ready for church on time.
Last night, he did get to full out crying once. But it wasn't till nearly 5am. I got him up, fed him, and 20 minutes later he was back asleep in bed. He slept till 8.
Also, I think learning to sleep through the night in his own bed is helping him sleep during the day. He is sleeping SO much during the day. He finally seems to be giving up the infant cat-naps and transitioning to an actually schedule and regular naps throughout the day. As I write this, he has been asleep for close to two hours, I've done the dishes, folded the laundry, and managed to sit down and write. Now I am about to have to go wake him up to eat before we go see his cousin.
There may be a growth spurt happening here also.
Now, I know the Cry It Out method works. I've used it before with the kids I've nannied. And, in using it, determined that, while it may work, I don't think it's the best way to teach a child to sleep. Or maybe it's just not good for this Mama's sanity. Whatever. I decided a long time ago that I would use it as a last resort only. Getting up and feeding my 6-month old every three hours, every night, is not the worst thing in the world. Having said 6-month-old sleep in my bed and kick me all night because he refuses to go back down in his own bed, is not the worst thing in the world either. I can lose some sleep. It's one of the things I signed up for when I embarked on this whole motherhood journey. If Oliver is hungry, because he's not eating enough solids during the day, and needs that feed every three hours, i will deal with that. That being said - if he DOESN'T need that food, that sustenance, if he is just waking up because he's trained himself to do so, I think that is something that - for both his father and my sanity, as well as not wanting this to be a habit he maintains for a couple years - it is my job, as his mother, to help him learn to sleep better.
We hadn't resorted to CIO for a couple of reasons:
1). Oliver has been teething, and I do not want him to be in pain, and needing comfort and feel like I am not there for him.
2). The addition of solids to his diet is going very slowly, he is not interested for long and he is not actually consuming much of the food that I give him. If he really is hungry that frequently at night, because he is not getting enough during the day, I do not want to refuse him the food that he needs.
3). Derek has been working insane hours and I don't want Oliver's crying to keep him up at night. He needs what sleep he can get.
4). I just can't listen to my baby scream. I honestly don't think I've gotten that desperate.
So, at every noise, every fuss, I've been running to pull my sweet baby out of bed, hush him so he doesn't wake his father, and latch him as quickly as possibly so that he can go straight back to sleep.
Until Friday. Friday night we stayed at my Godparents house. We set up the pack'n'play in the other room so that I could only hear Oliver if he was really all out crying (instead of waking up with every shuffle), and maybe I would get better sleep. We had a late night Friday and Ollie didn't go down till midnight. I woke up a couple of times thinking I heard him, I lay awake straining my ears to listen, but was met with only silence, so I went back to sleep. When I finally woke up for really just after 8am, he was STILL sleeping. I think he would have kept sleeping, but when I went in to check on him he stirred, and since I was painfully full, I woke him up to feed.
There goes my theory that he is really just hungry.
So, Derek and I had a conversation. We decided that I would stop getting up and pulling Oliver out of bed the moment I heard him. I would wait until he was really crying. Like, standing up on the side of the crib, struggling to catch his breath between sobs, crying. I am not ready to let him cry it out, but I do think he is at the point where he needs to be given time to try to learn to sooth himself back to sleep. We are going to try and give him that time. If Derek loses too much sleep, he can go get ear plugs. He has given me permission not to worry about it.
Saturday night I remember Oliver waking up once after we put him down around 10:30. Just before 2 in the morning. he fussed for a while. I got out of bed once to give him he pacifier. He was still laying down, eyes closed, under his quilt. Just fussing. So I let him be. I went back to bed and listened to him. Every time he would start to really fuss and I'd think I should go get him, he'd get quiet again. It felt like forever before he went back to sleep - it was probably ten minutes - but he went back to sleep. By himself. I heard him move around a couple other times during the night, but never cry. I had to wake him up at 7:30 so that I could feed him and then get us all ready for church on time.
Last night, he did get to full out crying once. But it wasn't till nearly 5am. I got him up, fed him, and 20 minutes later he was back asleep in bed. He slept till 8.
Also, I think learning to sleep through the night in his own bed is helping him sleep during the day. He is sleeping SO much during the day. He finally seems to be giving up the infant cat-naps and transitioning to an actually schedule and regular naps throughout the day. As I write this, he has been asleep for close to two hours, I've done the dishes, folded the laundry, and managed to sit down and write. Now I am about to have to go wake him up to eat before we go see his cousin.
There may be a growth spurt happening here also.
Way to go. And congratulations!
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